Monday, March 29, 2010

Dancing With the Realization That I Will Never Get These Two Hours of My Life Back

Hi everyone!

So, did you see Toot on AFV last night? Huh, didya? Well that makes one of us...

Apparently we were all in danger of major doom because the self-important local weathermen decided to tell us the same info over and over about a tornado no where close to our area and went over their broadcast time by about 5 minutes. And guess whose video was shown in the first 5 minutes of the America's Funniest Home Videos? Bingo. Toot gets on national television and we couldn't watch it. So instead of listening to Tom Bergeron tell us how adorable our child is, we got to see this:

Needless to say, I cried and my husband wrote an e-mail to our local news station that would make Samuel L. Jackson blush. For those of you that watched and sent e-mails or left comments, thank you so much! If we couldn't, we're so happy that you were able to see it! :D

So that's it for this post! I'll be sure to tell you more about...huh? What's that you say? What happened on Dancing With The Stars? Now how the heck should I know?

*sigh* Fine!

Here's a recap of tonight's episode...

So from what I understand, last week's episode was just Dancing With The "Stars" and this week it's Eliminating A "Star", right? But we have to watch them dance again, right? Geez, what crap. I feel so bad for the person getting kicked off having to dance again. If it were me getting kicked off I'd be like, "Wait, you kick me off and now you want me to dance again? Screw you buddy, I am outta here and I'm taking all the body glitter with me..."

Well from the looks of the "Stars" introductions, we've got a good combination of elegance, "Grease" and then that Pussycat Doll and Kate Minus One that look like they're working legally in Nevada. Blurg. And check out what the Snappiest Dresser wore:

His partner looks like Cha Cha from "Grease"...Wait wait wait, they just said that tonight they dance again, combine the scores and then tomorrow night they're getting rid of someone??? This is on again tomorrow night? Please tell me they're joking! What they're showing clips from last week's show??? Dude, I watched it! Wait, now I have to watch them rehearse again?!


Shannen (There's an "E" not an "O" in her name...really?) Doherty is up first and dude, I didn't even watch her. Her pigtails are cute though and she's super sparkly.

Brenda's Score: 7 - 6 - 7

So this is the simple break down of the show for a contestant:

1. Flashbacks from previous episode
2. Interview/Flashback
3. Rehearsal/Interview
4. Meltdown
5. Performance
6. Judging
7. Judging
8. Judging
9. Interview
10. Score
11. Reaction to Score/Interview

I can think of about 9 things that need to be dropped from that list.

By the way, the "Stars" are being extra whiny tonight. Slamming doors, saying they're going to quit...and you know if they all quit, that means they'll just cut 30 minutes off a 2 hour episode. These people can make a show outta nothing. Blahblahblahblah Longest show ever.

That guy from "All My Children" is up next. His partner's dress is all pink and pretty. Really low in the back though...If I wore a dress like that, you'd be able to hear the "truck backing up" alert noise for miles...

Score for uh...that cute guy: 7 - 6 - 6

Sooooo...the Sk8trboi is up next and they look at Grease-y and rebellious. Well, rebellious for a "star" on a reality TV dance competition anyway...

His partner's costume is sincerely hideous. She looks like a member from the Pink Ladies in the 80's that got caught in a trash compactor. Her hair is also very scary.

Anyhoo, here's Sk8trboi's score: 8 - 8 - 8

Niecy Nash is up next. Oh snap! I got into Twitter and totally forgot to watch her performance. Crap, now I gotta rewind it. Oh for the love of....did you see that cheesy "proposal" bit at the end? *barf* At least she wore pink. I like pink.

Score for Nash: 7 - 7 - 7

Time for commercial break! Oh hey, "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown" is on Wednesday, awesome! Oooo and lookie who's up next!!!
Oh snap, best costumes ever my friend...

Geez, seriously like every couple is fighting tonight during rehearsals. Shut up and dance already! Didn't "Step It Up" teach us anything?!

Anyhoo, on to their performance. I'm about 3 seconds in and can already tell this is going to be good, they're dancing to "Hip to be Square" and yes, they sure are...So they do some kinda move from "Riverdance" then she collapses on his knee and he beats on her stomach, then they do moves from the prom scene in Grease then he puts nerdy glasses on. And I promise you, I have exaggerated nothing.

Score for Lord of the Doof: 6 - 7 - 7

Crap, is it totally sad that I kinda wanna vote for them? Thanks a lot Deb, I'll get you for this one day! ;) No worries folks, I will NOT vote whatsoever for anything on this show ever! *shudder*

Ugh, I have an hour left in this show and there's like a billion couples still waiting to dance. And here comes Buzz Aldrin...Oh geez, they have him standing in front of a fake space backdrop. Come on ABC, give the man some dignity!
They dance to "Fly Me to the Moon"...Bro-ther. He does a little better than last week I guess but oh please, send this poor man home. He walked on the moon! THE MOON!

Score for the FIRST [Correction: SECOND] man on the MOON: 4 - 4 - 4

Wait, what's the point of the scores if it's call-in votes that decides who go home?

The Pussycat Doll is up next and is it fair to have a chick who actually dances in a noob dancing competition? Wait, is what she did with the Pussycat Dolls actually considered dancing? She's acting all winded and stuff. Whatever, you know how to dance already.

She looks all sparkly, that's something. And her top has total support, are you watching ESPN chick??? Her partner scares me a little. I'm trying to figure out who he reminds me of...who is it? It's driving me nuts! The judges all pee themselves over her. Big deal.

Score for the girl that is already good at dancing: 10 - 8 - 10 What a surprise...

The girl from ESPN is up next and man is this BO-ring! The most exciting part was when she needed a minute to put her boobs away before being judged. I'm telling is everything!

Score for blond girl: 8 - 7 - 8

For Pete's sake, who's left? Pam Anderson, Kate Minus One and 85. Three more?! Jiminy Cricket!

Pamela Anderson is up next and she looks all Marilyn Monroe-esque. Sort of... I'm rooting for her to win at this point. I've decided that the fox trot is totally boring. I have no idea why the audience keeps clapping and woo-ing. *snore*

Pam's Score: 7 - 7 - 8

Ochocinco is up next...Ugh, another foxtrot...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz Wait, what is going on with the top of his partner's dress? There's some sort of weird cuff shelf thing around the left side of her chestular region. The judges hate them.

85's Score: 6 - 5 - 5

The last dancer, FINALLY!!!! Yippee!

It's Kate and she's super whiny. I think it's because she's finally talking to a man that won't take her blahblahblah. So they fight during rehearsal and her partner quits and I just want to get on with my life.

Which it looks like I can because after he quits they cut to a "To Be Continued..." which is sort of anti-climatic because they already showed them all through the show dressed up ready to dance so...Wait, they just came back from commercial and they made up. Well, what the heck did they waste that "To Be Continued..." for? Sheesh. And now they're going to dance. Great.

First of all, she looks MUCH better this week. (Except for that freaky super tight curly banana clip look she's sporting) Too bad she sucks at dancing. Ew, she seriously sucks folks. She's worse than Buzz and I don't know how that's possible.

Score: 5 - 5 - 5

It's over, woo hoo!!! And guess what, Uncle Jesse's going to be on tomorrow night with The Beach Boys! Have mercy!

Thanks for reading tonight's recap folks! Please let me know if you'd like me to keep doing them. I'll be more than happy to stop! lol :P


  1. Stupid weather man! I still can't believe you didn't get to see your cute Toot! I've watched it about 50 times...I love her!

    Love your recap and I thought you said porn scene from Grease and did a double read...oh...prom scene from Grease...silly me. LOL That might have been more entertaining.

    Love you sweet girl!



  3. Oh that is just the stupidest thing about the nitwit of a weather man....I mean we are talking "Toot" here what's wrong with them.

    Oh I just read Karyn's double take on "that" word...too funny.

    Hey I totally love your cute as profile pic!

    Highly amusing run down on the dancers too btw.

  4. Oh bummer! Sorry you didn't get to see Toot on tv! :(

  5. i am sooooooooooo upset that they no longer let me record things on vcr tapes and made the evil that is what we recorded toot on...and i tell u what my love...if the vcr tape was still incirculation (SP? lol!) i would sooooooooooooo have that in the mail to U tomorrow so u could see your baby!! I feel horrible that u didn't see her :( but seriously...U need to write for someone...U rock...U crack me up...and i love u! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

  6. awwww...those dang weather men!!!!.always messing with everything!!..i bet the video was super adorable!!!..the still looks precious!!...happy monday!!

    love, nely

  7. Sorry about you missing Toot, Maggi - that blows!! Hopefully, you'll be able to get a copy somewhere, somehow!! :( As for the recaps - you can't stop now!!! You provide much entertainment and I seriously NEED that after a long evening's work!!! I LOVE the recaps!!! Keep 'em up!! :) I'm only sorry you have to sit and sift through all the drivel to get the highlights!! Tee hee!! :)


  9. Weathermen - always in the wrong place at the wrong time saying the wrong thing! So sorry about Toot!

    Love yr rundown about the dancers- priceless!

    Hope you're having a great week nonetheless!


  10. I'm so sorry you missed seeing Toot! :-(

    and I'm so tired of's way too long and I am about to quit watching it. Like you, I was on the computer doing other stuff...I didn't even see half of them dance.

  11. So sorry that you missed seeing your Toot...that stinks...

    I must admit.....I started watching the show last night and was so stinking tired...I feel asleep...just like a baby at 8:30 pm...needless to day I was at at 4:00 am....but this show is boring me to death...thanks for the least I know what is happening!!!

    Have a great one sweet friend!!!

  12. Maggi, I am SOOOO soryy you missed it, but, please, do not be upset. I hope that you will be able to get a copy of it! Sending you milions of huggs.:-)

  13. That's hilarious! Thanks for the updates - I know I can always count on you for the updates and the fun breakdowns along the way!

  14. ha ha ha your breakdown is most excellent!!! love it laughed so much cheers! x

  15. Oh Maggi! Of all things, a flippin' tornado watch, what are the odds of that. I'm so sorry, but we will find that clip come hell or high water- and here you are recapping DWTS!!! Again, what a asurprise! Admit it, you are addicted already! hahaha
    God help me, I voted for Jake just so I can see his ass come back next week and we can bash on him some more. You and I- we're evil. And it's your fault, you started it with your recaps! lol
    That was his theme song, wasn't it! And where was Vienna, they didn't even show her! LMAO at John Stamos tonight- haaaaaaaaaa!Good Lord, remind me that I need a life,
    love u, d

  16. so glad i'm not watching this LOL :D

  17. you are sooo funny!!
    and I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR NEW PROFILE PIC! you look smokin hot!
    awww that sucks about not seeing Toot! I want to see her too!
    Did anyone (your fam?) tape it?
    and thanks sooo much for leaving me some love! :D

  18. I am SO sorry to hear what happened! Big hugs to you, Maggi. Good for your husband!!! On the upside, thank you for another brilliant recap here for Dancing with the Stars. They are so much fun to read, especially since I don't watch it - so it's great that you provide me with a fun play-by-play. Theresa

  19. he he....loved reading this! yes, i watched the last three....and i enjoyed your recap of the part i missed! thanks for the laughs! you crack me up!

  20. Kate was super-awkward, wasn't she? I think they had her on last because the producers knew we'd tune in for the drama. Buzz Aldrin, though, gets my vote every time, even though he can't dance. SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did!

    The Wind in the Willows

  21. OMG this is so freakin funny! Why haven't I been to your blog before? Thanks for coming by glad to found you!

  22. We saw Toot!! She was too adorable!! Very sad that you missed seeing her on TV.

  23. Oh! I'm so sorry about Toot!! I missed the show entirely.

  24. Cute Blog. Buzz was the 2nd man to walk on the moon tho.