Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Dancing With The Cheese

Well, here we are at the second (Second? Third not counting the results show? Tenth? I'm so lost) episode of season 10 of Dancing With The Stars!!! *crickets* Yeah, me too. I'm late with my recap because things have been nuts around here. I am sooooo behind on getting to all of your wonderful blogs, we're leaving tomorrow to go see my mom for a couple of days and we had plans to celebrate Easter with my Granny but on Saturday she had a heart attack and had to have emergency surgery. She is doing okay and will hopefully be released today, thank God!

So with all of that going on, I just assumed that the "Stars" could wait one day and didn't even bother watching last night. lol Last week the "Stars" were issued a challenge: their dance had to tell a story. Well they tell a tale most foul already so I'm not sure where else they can go from here but let's hope it's up. I can see from the dancer introductions that most of the stories are going to be good enough to make a romance novel cover.

Now we get to hear the "Stars" tell us about the dance they're going to do because just watching them dance isn't painful enough. That ESPN chick decides to do the waltz blindfolded and when she puts the blindfold on says, "I can't see!" Andddddddd we're off to a running start towards stupid here folks!

Wait, they just brought out three couples that are dancing around each other. Where did they come from and why the heck do we need to see them dancing anyway? Two hour long episodes...*sigh*

So first up is that figure skater guy and their story is from "Chicago" or he's from Chicago or something. I kind of can't hate them because I really love the music from "Chicago" and his partner does look super cute.

Score for Sk8er Boi: 9 - 8 - 9

Buzz is up next and they're doing a patriotic story with his partner being his daughter or...who the heck knows. All I know is this poor thing is trying so hard and...oh crap, they're dancing to "What a Wonderful World". Bro-ther this is going to be the cheesiest episode ever and that is SO saying something for this show.

Score for a man that has been to the MOON: 5 - 4 - 4 The crowd is booing these scores but some on people. Moon or no Moon, this guys stinks.

Jake the Bachelor is up next and they are going to dance to "Walk Like an Egyptian". So not only do the 1980s get an unwarranted kick in the groin but I can only assume that I will get permanent wrinkles in my forehead from the look of "What the?!" that will be on my face for the duration of their dance. Okay, I'm confused...you're dancing to a crappy cover of The Bangles and you're doing the waltz? It ends well though, she stuffs Jake into a sarcophagus.

Score for The Bachelor: 7 - 7 - 7

Niecy is up next and their story is being an interracial couple in the 1960s. My question is if they're dancing like a couple from the 60s, why do they look like they should be on "The Love Boat" in the 70s? Oh geez, they're dancing to "With You I'm Born Again". *dry heave* Make it stop...dear Lord in Heaven, make it stop!!!!!!!

Score for Niecy: 7 - 7- 7

It's Chad Ochocinco's turn next and they're doing some Spanish something or other. He's even got "Ocho Cinco" on the back of his little matador jacket. By the way, his last name really is Ochocinco and if you don't know the story behind that one, click here. Some people were born to dance and some are just born to be pretty. While Chad wasn't horrible this week, he sure is pretty. They should quit having him dance and just put a picture of him in the corner of the screen.

Score for 85: 7 - 6 - 7

It's time for Pamela Anderson Lee No Just Anderson. Despite all of my best efforts to feel nothing for this show, I was totally disgusted that they were in the bottom two last week and even more disgusted Shannen went home instead of stupid Kate. Anyhoo, Pam and her partner are doing some Spanish theme too and Charo stops by to give them some pointers. Can I just say that I love Charo? That woman still has it! Their dance was okay, he starts by slinging Pam across the floor which looked painful and they're dancing to "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood". Come on, let's leave decent songs alone!

Score for Pam: 7 - 7 - 7

That pretty boy from "All My Children" is up next. He's a painter or something, I don't know what's going on here. He looks good in his suit though.

Score for this guy: 7 - 6 - 7

That ESPN girl is next and I'm not sure but I think I don't like her. Her dress looks like something from David's Bridal (Come on, you Bridesmaids out there know what I'm talking about). I'm not sure what the story is here and she has this really goofy look on her face.

Whatever, here's her scores: 8 - 7 - 8

So they've saved the best and worst for last: The Pussycat Doll and Kate.

Kate up first and their story is about her getting away from the paparazzi. You know what would help keep the paparazzi away? Not continuing to be on television shows, a-duh. Wait a minute...are they actually dancing to Lady Gaga?! Noooooooo! And Kate still sucks just as much this week as she did last week. What an angry person. If America votes to keep her on the show another week, I'm going to go door to door and give each Kate voter I find a good punch in the nose.

Scores for the Kraken: 5 - 5 - 5

So The Pussycat Doll is up next and seriously, is there any point in saying anything? She's an actual dancer, she keeps trying to act like she's all unsure of herself, her boobs defy gravity and her partner is still creepy. They were great...of course.

Whatever: 8 - 6 - 9

I'm done! Woo hoo! Time to get Toot some lunch, have a great day everyone!!! :D


  1. Love reading your synopsis...I can't bring myself to actually watch the show...lol...it isn't nearly as entertaining as reading your posts about it anyway.

  2. Hope yr grandmother's feeling better & making an excellent recovery!

    Hope you're having a good week!


  3. HAHAHA, I'll help you punch those who vote for Kate because watching her is excruciating!!!! and yes, Derek is kinda creepy :-)

  4. You make me wish I watched the show! Your blog is so charming...quick hellos from Tam. :)

  5. Sorry about your granma. I hope she is ok, and recovers quickly!!

    And, have a fabo trip to your mom's house (where does she live?)

    Lastly, Your recaps are the highlight of my otherwise lame existance!! Great job!!

  6. yikes! Sorry about your granny Maggi, sending well wishes her way for a full and quick recovery. Enjoy the time with your mom and I am sooo glad I don't watch this show! LOL! I dont see how you can bring yourself to do it. lol!

  7. Thanks for the update. Now I'm going off to dance with my broom.

  8. You are in our thoughts!!! hang in there!

  9. I hope your Granny is doing better.

    I cannot believe that you can stomach DWTS. I tried watching because I am a Niecey/Clean House fan but I watched for all of two minutes and I knew that show was not for me.

  10. Oh Maggi, sorry to hear about your grandma. I'm happy to hear that she will be alright, though. Enjoy the few days away with your family. And thanks for another delightful recap!!! :) Theresa

  11. Sending you prayers for your Gram, sweet girl! This new follower loves your blog!


  12. Hope your grandma is okay....and have a safe trip to mama's!!! And hehehehehehehe...if they don't vote that kate off...I think I will join U door to door in punching some noses!! LOL! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

  13. HI MAGGI,


  15. Seriously Maggi....thank you sooooooooo much for the wonderfully entertaining recap! I'm cracking up! It's more entertaining then the show! Sorry to hear about your Grandmother and I will say prayers for a continued good recovery. And ditto on how kate shoulda left instead of shannen...and yes, please punch them in the nose twice...once for me! he he! Kate is TORTURE to watch! I decided to be nice to myself and tune out this week! Hey...I'mm already punishing myself by watching the seriously much less entertaining Idol season this year...I think it's the blond dude Casey who keeps me watching...and giggling...and blushing....sigh!