Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dancing With Who Knows What

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for your well wishes, I am feeling a little better today. Hurray!!! :D

I've decided to combine the DWTS weekly episodes into one post so each dancing episode and then the results show will be in one post from now on. :) Ready to get started? Me neither.

Last week it was Buzz Aldrin, second man on the Moon that was sent packing and ABC decided to really respect him and send him off in grand style:

Yep, I freakin' kid you not. ABC took an all-American history maker and shot him off the show like a space shuttle, complete with rocket fire and smoke. *face palm*

So this week it's the "DOUBLE SCORE SHOWDOWN" (emphasis ABC, not mine) which means it's one score for technique and one score for us for watching this show another week. Just kidding, the other score is for performance or something. They're dancing the "raunchy rumba" and "tempting tango" so I've got the Pepto handy, I'm pretty sure I'll be dry heaving the entire time.

First of all, remember Kate's first dance costume? I told them then to NOT put her in another drop waist and of course I was ignored. Again the dancers are split: it's ho vs. prude as half the girls are covered head to toe and the other half look like they should be on Cinemax.

The judges recap their opinions on the dancers and yes, it's just as boring as it sounds so I'll spare you. So after talking about all of the contestants, we then have to watch professional dancers that aren't in the competition dance. We're 2 minutes in and I'm already sure this episode is bloated with filler...again.

That girl from ESPN is first and although she finally covered herself and gave her some sort of breastular support, she looks like a some sort of Mask of Red Death. I like her shoes though. Are they doing this dance correctly? It looks like every other dance they've done. Bah.

Technique Score: 6 - 6 - 6

Performance Score: 7 - 7 - 7

That ice skater guy is next. You can tell they must have listened to their song a billion times because his partner is singing along to it while they dance. You know, the tango is not like what I thought it was. This is pretty boring.

Technique Score: 9 - 8 - 9

Performance Score: 9 - 8 - 9

Great, now we have to watch some girl dance in her underwear to introduce the rumba. *fast forward* Niecy Nash is up next. Meh, boring. Too many slow songs this episode maybe but blah blah blah.

Technique Score: 6 - 6 - 6

Performance Score: 6 - 6 - 6 Ooooo Double E-vil!

The guy from All My Children is next and I'm very confused by the song choices here. I get that they're probably trying to tie in recent popular music or whatever but emo pop music to this kind of dancing is just weird. Anyway, he was okay I guess.

Technique Score: 5 - 5 - 5

*After these scores were announced, Brooke asks them, "Were you hoping for more?" Uh no, we were hoping to get worse scores, moron. *eye roll*

Performance Score: 6 - 6 - 6

It's time for the Pussycat Doll, finally we'll get some snap and pizazz around here! Wait, what? "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"? Another slow dance? BO-RING. Whatever, let's just cut to the scores.

Technique Score: 9 - 8 - 8

Performance Score: 8 - 8 - 9

Jake the Bachelor dances to "A Girl Like You" which is a great song (Empire Records FTW!) but he trips and slips over his partner about a million times. Boo!

Technique Score: 6 - 7 - 6

Performance Score: 7 - 6 - 6

Now it's time for Kate's tango...*sigh*...So her partner tells her that if she fails this week that "He" wins and by "He" I can only assume he means Jon. Whatever, I just wish she'd quit dancing like she was made in a mad scientist's laboratory. I also wish she would smile or have some sort of different look on her face. The one she has on now makes me feel like she's going to kick my butt or something. Her dance was okay, definitely the best she's done so far. I still wish she'd get a new costumer.

Technique Score: 4 - 5 - 5

Performance Score: 6 - 6 - 6

My early prediction, she's in. She's got the sympathy vote and her "struggling" and what not just sealed it for her. No way she's in the bottom two or being eliminated.

Ochocinco is the last one to dance and the color that they are wearing is H-O-R-R-I-D. This beige-y, pinkish color is okay on him but his partner...ew...and the song they picked...eww....and then at the end they collapse on a big pile of used tissues or something. Actually, they're all wearing that ew-ish color tonight:

Technique Score: 7 - 6 - 8

Performance Score: 8 - 7 - 8

Color Score: -15

Oh crap, there's still one more couple. So close! I forgot about Pam. Somehow watching them dance, I feel violated...She does this sinking split thing at the end. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww...

*Tom pauses to tell us that next week is "Movie Week" where they have to dance to iconic songs from the movies and it will only be a 90 minute show. Woo hoo!!!

Technique Score: 7 - 8 - 8

Performance Score: 8 - 7 - 9

My final word on the rumba and the tango: BO-RING.

So that's it for this...oh right, results show...Okay, let's get this going:

First safe dancers: Ochocinco and Jake

Recap from a judge, blahblahblah. Then we get to watch Pam's dance again. My legs are still pained just watching that split she does at the end. Ouch. Then we find out that Sade is going to perform. Sade, NO! Don't do it! Then they show some cheesy movie trailer spoof for the show, "Tuesday the 13th", ugh.

But then the first commercial they show is delightful! I so adore Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka and this commercial is so fun:

A little scary I'm enjoying the commercials more than the show but there it is. Sade performs and some people dance. Hey, remember that song "Smooth Operator"? That was a good song.

*fast forward*

They tell us (again) what the points are for everyone. They finally get around to telling us who else made it through: Evan the Ice Skater. Then they show us baby pictures and tell us that Macy's is going to dance with violins and champion ballerina gangsters...or something like that. Oh geez, another movie spoof "ChaChablanca". They really trying hard to get me to hate Movie Week.

Ooooo Iron Man 2 trailer...woo hoo!

Great, now it's "Glambo: First Dance". Seriously, this is worse than you blowing Buzz into space. Enough with the spoof movie trailers!!!!!

Other safe people: The Pussycat Doll (Duh) and Pam (Yay!)

Okay, the hip hop violinists were pretty cool, then they make Sade sing again. Next safe whatever: That chick from ESPN. Meh. So now they're going to commercial...wait, nope. They're doing another spoof trailer. Grrrr...This one is "Double Ochocinco: Dance Another Day".

So let's get down to it: Kate is safe (figures, stupid voters) and That Guy From All My Children is going home. Boo! Quit voting for Kate people! It's called "Dancing" with the stars, not "Pitying" with the stars. Come on!

So anyway, there you go! :D Thanks for reading everyone! Your comments mean so much to me! :)


  1. Great recap...saved me from watching the show when I know I have so many other things on the to-do list...like pig out on the cookies we just made:-)
    So happy you got your new site...wanted to make sure I was following you here!

  2. OOOOOHHHHHH! I am watching right now on the west coast and now I have the 411! I guess this means I can go to bed now?

  3. hehehehehehehe....I think I would like to see the commercials than kate trying to dance or smile...or anything kate related...lol!! and speaking of 'b' movies...have u ever seen "student bodies"????? omygosh...it was one of the original spoof movies and it is funny!! LOL! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

  4. Kate has the most bizarre facial expressions I've ever seen...her smile makes her look so unreal. Somehow she did improve, but that's not saying much at all. I feel so bad for her partner.

  5. I read your post to JJ, my sides hurt from laughing- he's dying and wants to watch the show with you! lol
    HEY talk about weird, my mom and sister were on the Soap Cruise- do you have that tevo'd still- I'll let you know which one my sister is when Edyta was dancing with Aiden on deck...xoxox

  6. I read your post to JJ, my sides hurt from laughing- he's dying and wants to watch the show with you! lol
    HEY talk about weird, my mom and sister were on the Soap Cruise- do you have that tevo'd still- I'll let you know which one my sister is when Edyta was dancing with Aiden on deck...xoxox

  7. hilarious, people just want to see kate train wreck again next week LOL :D

  8. Hi Maggi!
    Wonderful post as always!
    btw didn’t include you in last week's awards list over at my place cos it was just for recently discovered blogs and I’ve known you ~ and yr wonderful blog ~ for oooh ages!!
    Must rush now- am away on business! Have a lovely day!
    In haste

  9. You mean they STILL haven't sent step-counting Kate home yet? Wow - that truly says something. What, I'm not exactly sure. Maybe she'll win the whole thing - wouldn't that be swell? LOL Thanks for another great recap. Theresa