Monday, March 28, 2011

Dating Game for Moms

When I was single, I hated dating with a capital "H". I ran all the usual drills: meeting at a club/bar/church, internet, introduced by a friend, blind date, luring them to my tinted window van by acting like I needed help loading a sofa...no wait, that was Silence of the Lambs...

Anyhoo, dating sucked. It was stressful, awkward and I once had a guy sing in the car on the way to the restaurant, in the restaurant and on the way home. No love match there. The worst part for me was my own kooky insecurities:

"Do I have something in my teeth? Oh crap, do I have something in my nose?! Who should pay? Does he like me? Is this going well? Wait, how long has it been since he stopped talking??? The silence has gone on too long, say something stupid!"

"So...uh...this is fun...right?"

Part of me always wanted to revert back to grade school dating tricks:

Once I was married, I did a happy dance that my horrifying dating days were over. Or so I thought. Turns out when you get knocked up, if you don't have a built in system of friends or close family with kids the same age, you're right back in a dating pool of another sort...

I never worried about Toot having friends at first, a kid can't really "play" when their biggest talent is staring at the ceiling fan. But now she's two and I can't deny it any longer. My kid needs some friends. Luckily there's a park close by and she LOVES it there.

Of course said park is filled with kids and...their moms. Now I find myself in the same cringe-worthy position I was in when I was dating. Trying to catch an eye, giving them a friendly smile or nod, looking out of the corner of my eye to see if they're looking at me, attempting to not look desperate, sucking in my stomach so I look thinner...after all, you gotta win over the moms.

And then, amazingly, I'm right back where I started:

"Do I have something in my teeth? Oh crap, do I have something in my nose?! Who should pay? Does she like me? Is this going well? Wait, how long has it been since she stopped talking??? The silence has gone on too long, say something stupid!"

"So...uh...this is fun...right?"

Finding your path through the sea of motherhood can be tricky. Of course for my part, I could never imagine someone NOT wanting to have Toot around, she's a hoot! Plus, come on...she's pretty cute if I do say so myself.

But I never realize it would be up to me to get the ball rolling. I've got to wade into the deep end and start flirting up the moms and see who flirts back and then it's on. My kids gets a friend, some social skills and who knows...I may learn some new social skills too.

23 comments:

  1. Ohhhhhh this is soooooooooo true!! I love love love love love it!! And LOVING that pic of you and Toot! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Too Funny .... but so true Maggi ! Thank heavens , those days are FAR behind me but now come to think of it , I sit on the sidelines and wonder if I could find a friend my age who loves to craft , go for coffee , doesn't want to have her grandkids 24/7 but would give her life for one if necessary and mostly just comes around occasionally ....... hey , that sounds like high school all over again and that DATING game ( minus the crafting ! LOL )

    Love your photos .... Toot is growing up so quickly and is more then CUTE ... and you my Dear , are glowing !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a cool post, and love the pictures :D. I am so glad I never really went through the whole dating thing. I've only had two serious relationships and I married one :).
    Toot is going to make so many friends though, just look at her, she is charming and magnetic. She is a doll, she is not going to have any problems.
    *kisses* HH

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fabulous Post...you make me giggle..but ever so true!!!

    I love the pics!!! You are just stunning!!!!! Toot is precious...Come visit with me...Toot and Gavin would have a blast!!!

    Wishing you a great week!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I never thought of that. I knew there were unspoken pitfalls to having children! Haha. Good luck with that flirting! Hope you and Toot make a ton of super cool friends at the playground!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aw! You two are so adorable and sweet...I bet you are the life of the party (at the "playground or anywhere" party :o)

    Blessings & Aloha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh Maggi, I felt the exact same way about dating! And that is what I fear about motherhood....I'm not a social person really and I always think it's probably a good thing I don't have children because I'm not a good mingler. I've babysat my niece, taking her to the park and I don't even try to mingle with the other moms. Partly because I am "the aunt" and not the mom, but partly because what you mentioned. You're a good mom to make the effort! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. awwww I loved reading this post! I hope you and Toot make alot of new friends at the park, and I LOVE the photo of you and Toot..it's beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. What fun a post. I know that I have felt that way more than once and having a little note that said, "Do you like me or can my kid play with your kid?" Yes or no would have been less stressful, less time consuming and very helpful in the long run.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm soo glad I don't have to deal with that! ugh! good luck to you Maggi! And any kid would be lucky to have Toot to play with! You look great by the way!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh i love this post! Bless you both!! I have the same crazy insecurities....plus I also assume the worst rather than the best (this can sometimes mean i'm pleasantly suprised :-P) Good luck with your plan...but really i am sure little Toot will find some pals!! I was the shiest kid in the world and i managed it :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. You are so funny gal! I so thoroughly enjoyed this post! :)

    Hope you are doing well. #4 arrived on Sunday! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Maggi - that last picture had me grinning like the Cheshire Cat!

    Of course your observations on life are as usual spot on. My lot had no choice but to make the first moves themselves though as a flirter I have never been. So I sit, nose in book on the park bench while they chase down poor unsuspecting children demanding they play with them :P

    ReplyDelete
  14. In LOVE with your picture!! I wish you lived nearby Kendall and Toot would make the sweetest friends! And you wouldn't have to ask yourself those silly questions because I would be the one with something in my teeth!!! I am sure Toot will have so many friends you can't keep up:)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sooo cute! My little niece is three and every time she sees a little girl (at the store, at the park, in the restroom, getting into a car in a parking lot), she says, "Oh, wait, there goes my best friend!"

    ReplyDelete
  16. What a sweet photo of you, too. You're both so cute, I'm sure you'll find lots of friends! :) But I can understand the nervousness - it's always so nerve-wracking to meet new people. I'm sure you will do well! Theresa

    ReplyDelete
  17. You hit the nail on the head with this post!!! LOL! So true!

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is so odd. This certainly must be a problem faced by so many of us as I blogged about this a day or so ago as well. Ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Maggi,
    I was blog hopping and landed on the OWOH owner's blog. I was truly enchanted by your blog and I do have to say that your post of "It's Two, Two, Toot Times the Drama" had me laughing for quite some time.

    Your Toot reminds me of my three year old nephew Etienne, who likes to throw himself on the floor to make a point. He no longer does this with wreckless abandon since he hurt his head one time when he threw himself dramatically on a concrete floor! He now looks down and slowly falls to the floor before throwing a crying fit....lol!

    You have a very sweet blog and I love all of your crochet projects. I crochet but still learning as I go...I always make crooked afghans!

    I'll be back to visit again. Be a sweetie!

    Deanna :D

    ReplyDelete
  20. Loved the post...you and Toot are so sweet!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Awesome post! It's true, isn't it? It's tricky as they get older too. If one of their friends has psycho parents I'm hesitant to let them hang out, which makes me feel bad. Then ago, I'd rather feel bad than leave my kid with someone I don't trust.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You have captured this so well, OMG, I still have nightmares that because of my lack of social skills, chaotic house, answering the door in ugg boots & painting shirt while telling the kids to 'grab a treat' we'd never be accepted into the holy circle of 'good parents'... funny thing happened... my daughters friends thought we were cool... now to work on the parents LOL!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting Just Add Glitter and Stir and for taking the time to comment! I've changed the comments area so I can reply directly, let's get the conversation started! :D

Have a glittery day!

Related Posts with Thumbnails