That was before FedEx decided my house didn't exist, actually that no house on my street existed and that I needed to lose the baby weight. It all started with this book:
(Image from Amazon)
Looks pretty cute, yes? I ordered this book (along with two others) from Amazon.com on June 29th with two day shipping meaning it should arrive at my house on Friday, July 1st. For whatever reason, Amazon was unable to ship this book on the 29th and instead shipped the other two books in my order via 2-day UPS on the 29th and overnighted this book via FedEx on the 30th so that it would still get to me by July 1st.
My other books arrived via UPS safe, sound and on schedule but the 1st came and went and this book never showed up. I didn't freak out too much because I knew with it being a holiday weekend, it might have gotten held up. So I when it still didn't show up by the 5th, I decided to check up on it. The note on FedEx's website said that it was undeliverable due to an "incorrect address". Huh?
**Let me take a break to say that both UPS and FedEx are on my street daily. Within the past month, I've had multiple UPS packages, one moving truck AND a warehouse truck all deliver to my house with NO problems at all.**
So I called FedEx directly and told them the address was fine. They said okay, we'll let the driver know. A few minutes later I get a call from the local FedEx facility asking me for directions. After giving said directions, they told me that I would get my package FOR SURE the next day.
Cut to this morning when I wake up to a 7:30am voice mail saying they weren't going to deliver my package because "there were no house numbers on any house" on my street and that I would have to drive to their main facility to pick up my package.
So off Toot and I go to pick up this "kooky" book which is funny since that is what this situation has become: KOOKY. We arrive at FedEx and have to wait because they only have one attendant at the desk and she is having to run back and forth between 2 computers because apparently neither one of them work. *facepalm*
When she finally gets to me, I tell her my name and that I'm here to pick up and lo and behold: she can't find my box. *double facepalm* She asks me to write down my address, which I do and as she's looking it up on the two broken computers, she notices Toot and says, "Oh isn't she cute! And I see you're giving storage to another one, when are you due?" When I politely informed her that I had already given birth, she then said, "Oh! So you're what? 6, 8 months along?" *triple facepalm*
**For those of you new to the blog, please see the post entitled, "Good (and Painful) Things Come in Small Packages) where I announce that on May 9th I gave birth to Zippy.**
At this point, I'm starting to think I've gone completely insane. I'm either living in a fantasy world where my house is invisible and I'm way too fat OR I'm being Punk'd. Either way, all I can do is laugh...I mean, they're acting like I live in the middle of a jungle where mail has to be helicoptered in by a S.W.A.T. team and sent to your village on donkeys.
So she STILL can't find my package and as I'm starting to relay the whole saga, a hand comes out from their little window thingie, tosses my package and it hits the floor. Rather than go off, I just grab my package and get the hell out of there.
So this is what I've decided to do: hold a little kooky giveaway. The winner will get either a copy of this book OR if you don't crochet, I'll be glad to make you something from this book. :) All you have to do is leave a comment on this post telling me whether you would like a copy of Kooky Crochet or if you would like me to make you something "kooky".
I will make sure to mail it to your house through UPS, the United States Postal Service OR I will personally walk to your house and put it in your hands before ever letting FedEx come near it. (Please note that if you choose the book and Amazon is out of stock, we can wait till it's in stock or I can make you something instead.) :)
So please, commiserate with me and leave your comment here by 4:00 pm EST on Friday, July 8th and I will announce the winner in my Friday Night Fab Five post.