Wednesday, March 21, 2012

How to Clog Your Kitchen Sink

Hi everyone and welcome to Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner where I provide the best tips, tricks and tutorials for failing spectacularly at any craft. Previously I taught you how to set your microwave on fire. In today's lesson, I'm going to show you how to clog your kitchen sink. This is a simple technique that's sure to be a hit with your family and make your smarter friends green with envy.

Step 1

You know, the old adage goes, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again". Well here at Just Add Glitter and Stir, we subscribe to the wisdom of Homer Simpson who said, "Trying is the first step towards failure". So for your first step, learn from your mistake of almost setting your house on fire and try to dye your mohair again, this time follow the instructions and dye it successfully. It's pretty, no?


Step 2

Now we're ready to clog the sink! It's best to start this project right after dinner but before you wash dishes. This way you'll have a failed project AND dirty dishes staring at you in judgment. (To make the most of this step, make sure you live in a house without a dishwasher.)

Rinse your mohair in the sink without anything underneath it to catch stray fibers. That's all you have to do for this step. The fibers will then collect in your drain without you noticing it because they are almost invisible in single strands. Optional: Pat yourself on the back for your successful dye job while rinsing your newly dyed mohair. While this step is optional, it will be the last bit of joy you'll feel for the next couple of days so I highly suggest taking advantage of this part of the process.

Step 4

Ask yourself, "Why isn't the water going down?"


Step 5

After realizing what has happened and why it happened, start by shaking your fist at the mohair while whispering profanity to yourself and end by hanging your head in shame.

Step 6

Repeat step 5

Step 7

Ask your husband or significant other for a snake. After seeing the light in his eyes die upon your explanation that you meant a drain snake and not the metaphorical snake, watch helplessly as he walks away in disgust.

Step 8

Go to the store and purchase drain cleaner. After looking over your options, make sure to choose organic drain cleaner. It's made by people who want to make sure your family and pipes are safely taken care of. This cleaner will not work but you can be safe in the knowledge that although you have no usable sink in your kitchen, at least you didn't kill your family.

Step 9

Go back to the store and by the real drain cleaner, the kind filled with chemicals that will kill anything within a 5 mile radius of your sink.  After a few days of torturing your pipes, they will eventually cough it up and things will get back to normal.

Ta da! 9 easy steps to clogging your kitchen sink! It really couldn't be any easier. Thank you for joining me today on Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner! Please join me again next week when I will have stapled my hand to the craft table.

21 comments:

  1. LoL! You are having some great adventures in this whole blythe customizing thing huh! Here is hoping it all goes well for you now.

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  2. Hahahahahahahaha! You've done it again, Maggi! You are an absolute fail star and I love you for it :o)

    I'll be back later to read this again, I'll need a laugh after a day at work.

    xxxx

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  3. i wanna live at your house so i can watch all of this live! lol

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  4. bahahahahahahahh oo I almost peed reading this .. i needed this lol today you made my day!! ahahahha love it!!!!!!! ahahhha

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  5. the hair is pretty even if it did kill the sink LOL

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  6. Ack! That does not look like it was very fun! Please tell me you're joking about the stapling!

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  7. That mohair is soooo pretty though. You can't be mad it!

    Please don't staple your hand to the craft table. Thanks for the laugh!

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  8. What plans do you have for that mohair? Besides killing your sink.

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  9. Hahhaa... crazy!

    and that's the reason why I'm tagging you.. =D check out my blog and find out about it.

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  10. Maggi you are hysterically funny...I laughed till I choked! I've never done this with dyed mohair...in fact as I've grown in years I've grown in the ways of the clogged drain! A clean unused in the potty plunger is always handy to have in the kitchen for clog emergencies! (However if it's an extreme emergency and you have a potty plunger feel free to use it but only if you're going to wipe down the sink and everything in a large radius with bleach water...to kill those e coli thingies!) Also flushing the drains with vinegar + baking soda, kids will love the foamy thing it does, and then pouring in boiling water, lots of boiling water will get the grease out that mohair fibers would get stuck in thus clogging up the drain. One that my ex (as in ex) husband used was to haul in a hose and holding the hose tightly in the drain so water won't fountain all over the kitchen have a second party (usually moi) turn on the water...just be sure you have super strong pipes and pipe couplings or you could blow apart your plumbing...eliciting more derision from significant other and the plumber who has to be called to replumb the kitchen sink!

    Enjoyed your post! ;-)

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  11. Lovin' the mohair!!! Sorry about the mishap, but it has me smiling. Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday for my SITS Day. Fun!!!

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  12. LOVE!! Ok I don't love that you actually had to deal with the issue of a clogged sink, but way to make it fun!! :)

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  13. I just stopped by from SITS to say hello! This post is hilarious! Love your sense of humor! Hope you'll return the visit!

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  14. You made me scare my dog, Maggie. He was nice and sweetly asleep, then HAHAHARAAAWRLOL. He's now looking at me like I'm an asshole.

    Thanks a lot.

    :)

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  15. Thankfully I read this post this morning and didn't wake anyone up with my laughing but did get a look of What? from my son! Funny stuff maggi!

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  16. LOL From Susan's Cooking Fail episodes, this trick also works: put corn silk and husks down the disposal. Net effect is exactly the same but at a much lower cost than mohair! :)

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  17. Hahahaha! This is hilarious! I think this is the best procedure to do some kitchen mayhem. Surely, you’ll make a lot of plumbers wealthy. LOL! Darryl Iorio

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  18. You’re pretty hilarious, Maggie! I can’t imagine your husband’s reaction while telling the reason why your sink clogged. LOL. Anyway, there are natural ways to unclog a drain. You can even find natural drain cleaners in your kitchen. Hehe. Baking soda and vinegar are the common solution for this, or you can pour a large pot of boiling hot water slowly down the drain.

    Bibi Karpel

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  19. That was so FUNNY! You almost got me there! If you can’t fix it, you can always hire professional plumbers. They can fix your sink for you while you do all joking! Consider it an end to your sink misery :)

    -Althea Tumlin

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  20. Another cracking yarn! Too funny ... and I have hiccups all over again!

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