Hi everyone and welcome to Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner where I provide the best tips, tricks and tutorials for failing spectacularly at any craft. Previously I taught you how to set your microwave on fire. In today's lesson, I'm going to show you how to clog your kitchen sink. This is a simple technique that's sure to be a hit with your family and make your smarter friends green with envy.
You know, the old adage goes, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again". Well here at Just Add Glitter and Stir, we subscribe to the wisdom of Homer Simpson who said, "Trying is the first step towards failure". So for your first step, learn from your mistake of almost setting your house on fire and try to dye your mohair again, this time follow the instructions and dye it successfully. It's pretty, no?
Now we're ready to clog the sink! It's best to start this project right after dinner but before you wash dishes. This way you'll have a failed project AND dirty dishes staring at you in judgment. (To make the most of this step, make sure you live in a house without a dishwasher.)
Rinse your mohair in the sink without anything underneath it to catch stray fibers. That's all you have to do for this step. The fibers will then collect in your drain without you noticing it because they are almost invisible in single strands. Optional: Pat yourself on the back for your successful dye job while rinsing your newly dyed mohair. While this step is optional, it will be the last bit of joy you'll feel for the next couple of days so I highly suggest taking advantage of this part of the process.
Ask yourself, "Why isn't the water going down?"
After realizing what has happened and why it happened, start by shaking your fist at the mohair while whispering profanity to yourself and end by hanging your head in shame.
Repeat step 5
Ask your husband or significant other for a snake. After seeing the light in his eyes die upon your explanation that you meant a drain snake and not the metaphorical snake, watch helplessly as he walks away in disgust.
Go to the store and purchase drain cleaner. After looking over your options, make sure to choose organic drain cleaner. It's made by people who want to make sure your family and pipes are safely taken care of. This cleaner will not work but you can be safe in the knowledge that although you have no usable sink in your kitchen, at least you didn't kill your family.
Go back to the store and by the real drain cleaner, the kind filled with chemicals that will kill anything within a 5 mile radius of your sink. After a few days of torturing your pipes, they will eventually cough it up and things will get back to normal.
Ta da! 9 easy steps to clogging your kitchen sink! It really couldn't be any easier. Thank you for joining me today on Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner! Please join me again next week when I will have stapled my hand to the craft table.
14 hours ago