Monday, March 5, 2012

How to Set Your Microwave on Fire

Hi everyone and welcome to Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner where I provide the best tips, tricks and tutorials for failing spectacularly at any craft. Today I'm going to show you how to set your microwave on fire. This technique is sure to be a big splash at your next creative event. Be the envy of all of your friends!

Step 1

Buy a Blythe doll. They're expensive, hard to find in the US and most of the time you have to pay enormous shipping fees to get them from Asia. Then, think to yourself, "How can I spend the maximum amount of money for minimum result?" Reroot her hair with dyed mohair like you've seen other people do on Flickr! YOU CAN'T LOSE!

Step 2

Go online and start looking for mohair. Wow, mohair that's already been cleaned, combed and dyed gorgeous colors are expensive, aren't they? I know! Find a site that sells raw mohair, right off the goat and dye it yourself! You pay a fraction of the cost for 100 times the work! Then go to your local yarn store and buy a set of expensive dyes that are made especially for animal fibers.


Step 3

After gathering your materials and explaining to your husband why this purchase was good for the economy, follow the instructions included with the dye incorrectly. They suggest testing a lock of the fiber to check for correct coloring first. I know, I know...You're not one for reading manuals and following instructions but please don't play around! Following instructions incorrectly ensures that your time and money are wasted.

Mix your dyes and make sure to add too much water. This will make your color too light which is important. We're putting this in the microwave to steam and set the color so make sure that you do NOT use enough water. Blot it with a paper towel first because everyone knows that in order to steam, you want the least amount of water possible. Wrap your mohair in plastic wrap, put it in a glass bowl (also important: use glass!) and set the microwave for 5 minutes.

Step 4

Walk away. That's it! It's important to walk away and not keep an eye on your semi-dry animal hair wrapped in plastic, sitting in a glass bowl. So just walk away...maybe make a phone call, check your e-mail, take a potty break, what have you.

Step 5

After about 3 minutes, ask yourself, "What's that smell?"

Step 6

Go to check on your fiber. You'll notice that both the fiber and plastic wrap have disappeared. Don't worry, it's just been replaced by fire. At this point, you'll want to make sure you freak the #@^$# out. Open the microwave and start blowing on the bowl. This won't put the fire out but it will help you inhale as much smoke as possible. Next, reach in and grab the bowl. It will be hot. After that, take a wet washcloth (cold water works best for this) and grab your fire bowl. If you've done it correctly, the bowl will explode as you're pulling it out of the microwave. But it's okay, the explosion helps put out the fire.


Ta da! 6 easy steps to setting your microwave on fire! It really couldn't be any easier. Thank you for joining me today on Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner! Please join me again next week when I will have hot glued myself to the wall.

64 comments:

  1. Oh my! Glad you are okay though...it sounds really scary...love your sense of humour! :)

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  2. Crap Maggi, you seriously had me giggling out loud throughout this entire post...I started to wake up the kiddo's! I'm so glad that you didn't end up burning your own hair during this process! Great tutorial...I will not try it soon! ;)

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  3. Awesome blog post!!! A very expensive, dangerous but hilarious blog post! I'm so glad you're ok. That must have been stinkin' scary as heck. On the upside? At least you got fodder for an awesome blog post! Seriously. Awesome. Just sayin'.

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    1. That's exactly what my mom said, "Well, at least you got a post out of it." lol

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  4. THAT IS SO FUNNY!!!!! Brilliantly written, Maggi - I was really laughing throughout that whole post and I rarely laugh out loud on a Monday morning before work!

    Thank you for these top tips ;D

    xx

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  5. Oh the visuals. The visuals. Mmmm burning goat hair. Niiiiice!

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  6. You are such a Fabulous writer...I was there with you step by step!!!!! You amaze me....so sorry about your failed experience.....and no goats were hurt in this taping!!!!

    Love ya girlie!!!! :-)

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  7. I shouldn't be laughing... cuz it is soooooooooo not funny... but OMYGOSH girl, the way you write it... you have me rolling!!! I literally have tears... that just sucks girls... guess we have to convince the hubby that we need to boost the economy more and just buy it all ready made for us?? Love ya girl...thanks for the laugh!!

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  8. love your sense of humor Maggi...and BTW...well done in the "fail" department! I've never been great about reading instructions or following the ones I did read...this is a dramatic "heads up" about why I should be reading and following ;-)

    hope nothing was hurt in the making of this "fail" post!

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  9. Oh MY GOD!!!! best. post. ever! pinned into my awesome blogs board!

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  10. Ha! Awesome. I just choked on my breakfast from laughing, so thanks for that. Now I can start my day. :)

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  11. Yikes! I'm glad you're okay, but sorry that you burned up that expensive mohair. Bummer. But hooray for being able to laugh at it! This really is pretty darn funny . . . at least the way you wrote it. :D

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  12. oh my god! I was torn between laughing and crying.
    You did not get hurt, did you??

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    1. No injuries to report thank goodness! lol

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    2. happy to hear you did not get hurt while on this adventure ;)

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  13. This is so hysterical I literally laughed till I cried! I loved every minute of this post! And I will be back for more! Awesome!

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  14. OMG - Just way too funny - but glad there were no injuries! Kinda glad we don't have smell-a-vision too!!! :)

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  15. Oh nooooooooooo! That does not sound like fun but at least you survived!!

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  16. ~ * ♥ * ~

    Lol; we should start a "how to set your microwave on fire club" ~ my spectacular fail? Not craft related, but a fail none the less. I popped a rice sack in the microwave for 60 minutes instead of 6 and wondered 20 minutes later what that awful stink was.....

    When we finally figured it out; it was too late. The rice sack was just a black, melted pile of rice and fleece, pouring out thick acrid smoke... Le sigh. One microwave down. And one carefully handcrafted rice sack made by me! It had to be the one that I had edged with lace and spent ages making it pretty rather than any of the other uglier ones!! :'( Not happy; in fact I was more gutted about loosing the rice sack than the microwave!

    Oh well, at least your microwave survived your adventure! :)

    xox,
    bonita of Depict This!
    ~ * ♥ * ~

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    1. Awww, condolences to the rice sack and the microwave! (but I did get a Le giggle out of your story!)

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  17. You are FUNNY. I was laughing all day.

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  18. Adding this to my "reasons I dont have a microwave" post...with a link directed to yours!

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  19. Yikes!!!! At least you have a sense of humor about it.

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  20. hee hee too funny! thanks for sharing your adventure! :) ~hl

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  21. now i know what Misty was laughing about. HAHAHHAHA! :-D

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  22. I think I found my doppleganger. Totally sounds like something I would do! I hope it doesn't keep from trying the next "great" idea that comes your way.

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  23. Oh wow! That totally sounds like something I would do too.

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  24. LMBO!You are just too funny! In hindsight,every step was a red flag right? File it under Lessons Learned, be thankful nothing truly tragic happened, and try not beat yourself up about it! I once ruined my counter by setting fire to it w/ an immersion heater I got at a garage sale for (are you ready for this?) 10 cents!! It was a recipe for disaster similar to yours-and all to make a quicker cup of tea. I put a bowl of fruit over the burned spot for a year or so and then (insert Silver lining here)...it lead to a kitchen remodel. :D

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  25. Had to laugh in my pillow as to not wake my son!!! that is hilarious...thanks for the step by step tips.

    AWESOME POST

    Happy SITS Day

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  26. Hilarious! And totally something I would do. Glad you didn't get hurt!

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  27. Oh my goodness! Well atleast you are okay. I almost put a fire in my microwave once. I was heating up a dry handtowel (some stupid self-inducing labor trick... it didn't work).

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  28. I am crying with laughter! This is just ridiculously funny and totally awesome. You wrote it so well!! Happy SITS day! :)

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  29. That is so funny. And I can totally picture that happening to me! (I can have challenges with microwaves on the best of days, but if I were attempting something like this, disaster is pretty much guaranteed!)

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  30. Hahaha. This made me feel a little better. After such fascinating projects like Rotten Banana Bouquet and The Pimp Stick Fiasco of 2011, my readers started calling me The AntiCraft. Will set my microwave on fire immediately and let you know how it turns out,
    Tori@theramblings

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  31. Oh wow, that sounds like something I would do! Absolutely hilarious post. Happy SITS day!

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  32. Oh no! Loved your funny perspective on it. Be careful with that glue gun too....glad you are ok! Happy SITS Day to you!

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  33. Very interesting steps to a beautiful end. Very funny lol!
    Visiting from SITS, CONGRATULATIONS on being featured!

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  34. Nice website. Like the color. You definitely do sarcasm well. Keep it up. Enjoy your SITS day.

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  35. I'm never going near my microwave again. Just sayin'.

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  36. You SO need to make this a meme. I see a lot of how to do it right crafts. And mine ALWAYS wind up like this. Well, perhaps not exactly like this, as I usually give up before the microwave gets involved, but this would be an awesome way to celebrate the hilarious things that go wrong while crafting.

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  37. While I am sure there are cheaper ways to set fire to your microwave (my 7 year old does it...a lot...you know, metal and all), this sounds like WAY more fun! happy SITs day.

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  38. That was JUST what I was hoping to do today! Thanks for the tips. Heehee. :) Happy SITS day!

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  39. This might possibly be my favorite post of the week! Happy SITS Day...you just made mine :) I'm so glad I'm not the only one these things happen to!

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  40. You know, I didn't know it was so easy to set a microwave on fire. I've been trying to do it with matches this whole time... but your way seems easier and so much more entertaining. Thanks for this post, and happy SITS day. :-)

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  41. What Kristin said! This is my favorite post of the week! Hi Maggi, I'm Shanna - one of your newest followers. Happy SITS Day!

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  42. Perfect! I'm off to go follow your brilliant instructions ;)

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  43. So funny! I mean, dangerous and scary. No ... funny. So great to help you celebrate your SITS day!

    Enjoy!

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  44. OMG, I am laughing much harder than I should. Glad you're ok! Stopping by from SITS.

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  45. Holy Guacamole! I am laughing so hard! Hope you're okay though!

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  46. Hmmm, I think I'll do the opposite, or just avoid this one. Very funny. Happy SITS day.

    Lyza

    ChicShadesofGreen.com

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  47. Oh, you've got me hooked now, that was hilarious!
    I've set the microwave on fire, but not that way... Mine involved metal in an old microwave...

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  48. Hilarious! Happy SITS Day to you!

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  49. So I had to click on this post from SITS because I set my microwave on fire once too and was so curious to see how you managed to do it. I think that you outdid me, mainly for the glass-exploding elements. I microwaved a Mrs. Fields cookie for too long. I was in high school. I didn't know any better. Happy SITS Day!

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  50. Please include a link to an etsy shop where one (I) can buy a moderately priced kit + excessive shipping fees for Canadians Kit must include these instructions and more information on what not to do. Also, more photos. Question: can I replace the mohair with cat hair?

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  51. Oh, girl. You have me cracking up over here! Visiting you from sits and am now your newest follower because I love your blog and writing too much! You're awesome!
    I'm glad you're ok..but poor little mohair. RIP-ruined in pyrotechnics.

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  52. LMAO! Just found your blog (via SITS) and landed on this post. Hilarious! Reminds me of the time I put a clay bowl that I created in the microwave to create the "glazed" look that I see with professionals. Ha! Definitely lit my damn microwave on fire. Good times. Good times.

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  53. And this is PRECISELY why I don't craft. No money, patience or microwave. ; )

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  54. why would you want to re-root the hair on a blythe doll? Okay, maybe I gotta go google this one. ;) Happy SITS day. :)

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  55. Okay I went and googled it... I say your fire saved you a whole lot of work. Yup looking on the bright side. ;)

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  56. I love when people can laugh at themselves. Sometimes it is the only way to get through a situation.

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  57. Oh Maggi, I followed your instructions and went to Pixy's set, where I found this! I just about peed myself laughing! Just have to go get a glass of water to try to cure the hiccups! You one funny lady!

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  58. Oh, forgot to say, 2tMargarett on flickr! Love you!

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