Hi everyone and welcome to Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner where I provide the best tips, tricks and tutorials for failing spectacularly at any craft. Today I'm going to show you how to set your microwave on fire. This technique is sure to be a big splash at your next creative event. Be the envy of all of your friends!
Buy a Blythe doll. They're expensive, hard to find in the US and most of the time you have to pay enormous shipping fees to get them from Asia. Then, think to yourself, "How can I spend the maximum amount of money for minimum result?" Reroot her hair with dyed mohair like you've seen other people do on Flickr! YOU CAN'T LOSE!
Go online and start looking for mohair. Wow, mohair that's already been cleaned, combed and dyed gorgeous colors are expensive, aren't they? I know! Find a site that sells raw mohair, right off the goat and dye it yourself! You pay a fraction of the cost for 100 times the work! Then go to your local yarn store and buy a set of expensive dyes that are made especially for animal fibers.
After gathering your materials and explaining to your husband why this purchase was good for the economy, follow the instructions included with the dye incorrectly. They suggest testing a lock of the fiber to check for correct coloring first. I know, I know...You're not one for reading manuals and following instructions but please don't play around! Following instructions incorrectly ensures that your time and money are wasted.
Mix your dyes and make sure to add too much water. This will make your color too light which is important. We're putting this in the microwave to steam and set the color so make sure that you do NOT use enough water. Blot it with a paper towel first because everyone knows that in order to steam, you want the least amount of water possible. Wrap your mohair in plastic wrap, put it in a glass bowl (also important: use glass!) and set the microwave for 5 minutes.
Walk away. That's it! It's important to walk away and not keep an eye on your semi-dry animal hair wrapped in plastic, sitting in a glass bowl. So just walk away...maybe make a phone call, check your e-mail, take a potty break, what have you.
After about 3 minutes, ask yourself, "What's that smell?"
Go to check on your fiber. You'll notice that both the fiber and plastic wrap have disappeared. Don't worry, it's just been replaced by fire. At this point, you'll want to make sure you freak the #@^$# out. Open the microwave and start blowing on the bowl. This won't put the fire out but it will help you inhale as much smoke as possible. Next, reach in and grab the bowl. It will be hot. After that, take a wet washcloth (cold water works best for this) and grab your fire bowl. If you've done it correctly, the bowl will explode as you're pulling it out of the microwave. But it's okay, the explosion helps put out the fire.
Ta da! 6 easy steps to setting your microwave on fire! It really couldn't be any easier. Thank you for joining me today on Maggi's Creative Craft Fail Corner! Please join me again next week when I will have hot glued myself to the wall.
Mr. Squirrel says...
9 hours ago